Wednesday, September 15, 2021

All about conscious dating – What is it, how to do it, and why should I?

 What is conscious dating? Can you learn about relationships the easy way? Why do we need another dating platform if we have seen them all? We are about to give you the answers in our very first blog post!

What is conscious dating?

If you wonder what on Earth conscious dating is, think of the evergreen contradiction between how your brain and how your heart works when you are in love. Many times you hear people say „follow your heart but take your brain with you”. This may sound unusual or difficult at first, but this is exactly what people do who practice conscious dating. So, how to overcome this contradiction?

In conscious dating you will need to find a balance between using you brain and your heart

The process is quite simple as long as you are ready to put time and energy into it and understand that it does not end with the beginning of a new relationship. Learning about yourself never does. This is one main principle of conscious dating, which many singles do not keep in mind and therefore end up giving too much in the wrong situations. Doing conscious dating is like starting a marketing campaign for your company: you need to know what you are putting on the market inside out and see which available tools work best to reach your goal along with those people who are looking for exactly what you can offer.

This is how to be conscious in a few simple steps:


1. While you're single

While you are single and waiting for a potential partner to arrive into your life, it is a good idea to do some brainstorming – literally, this is where your brain comes into the picture. To increase your chances of starting a happily working long-term relationship you should think about and have a few ideas in mind regarding the following:

© What is the level of your self-confidence?
©     What are your goals for the long-term?
©     What you can learn from your previous relationships?
©     What kind of partner you are looking for?
©     What expectations do you have from a relationship?
©     Is anything holding you back (feelings for an ex, fears because you have seen bad relationships, etc.)?
©     How to become the best and happiest version of yourself? 

Don't worry, we will write several articles related to these topics, so you will have the chance to see a more detailed image! It is worth making lists or keeping a diary while practicing conscious dating so you can track the changes in your life and attitude.


2. When dating someone 

Obviously, being aware of these ideas and yourself comes in handy when it comes to actually going on dates. For example:

©     Someone with enough self confidence will react better to rejection and avoid making decisions out of desperation.
©     If you are already doing what you love in your life, you can make a much better impression on your partner.
©     You will need to make a decision to choose or not to choose someone on partly practical and logical factors.
©     Nobody can tell how long a relationship will last, but if you are aware of your own life goals, habits, etc., it is easier to see who is compatible with these and can support you in the long-term.

3. In a relationship

When you are in a relationship, we advise you to have two different pairs of imaginary glasses in you bag:

©     The rose-colored one: that will be there and that is totally ok. 
©     A normal one that you put on from time to time to see if everything is going in the right way, you are satisfied with your partner's behavior, and so on. 

All in all, conscious dating basically means following your heart but taking your brain with you. In order to do so you need to develop self-awareness first. Putting effort into preparing yourself consciously for a long-term relationship is definitely worth it, as long as you are ready to try something new because you want to gain more positive experience from now on. 

Can you learn about relationships the easy way?

Does this mean learning the easy way instead of the hard way? Yes and no! What does that mean? 

©     People are people, so you can still get into any kind of dating situation. What will change and make a difference is your attitude and the choices you make. 

©     You might be able to see who is not compatible with you more easily and spare a few unwanted wrong turns, but you will have other tasks such as turning your previous bad experience into something positive, which takes a lot of work. 

A relationship also means learning together

When it comes to learning about, or even via relationships (this is the main reason for their existence after all, to teach us), the way itself is usually even more important and gives you even more new experiences than finally reaching your goal in the end. These lines from a song by Miley Cyrus express very well what you should focus on during the process:

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb!

 It is not about how quickly you reach your goal and meet the love of your life, what really matters is how you can become a better version of yourself (which comes with challenges sometimes) and be surrounded with new people with whom you are on the same wavelength.

Why do we need another dating platform if we have seen them all?

Conscious dating is a relatively new concept. While decades ago families and married couples depended much more on each other both emotionally and financially, nowadays we have an unlimited number of opportunities to set and achieve goals independently. For this reason many people are not looking for a lasting connection in the first place.

We should also take it into consideration that in today’s modern world we are subject to many stimuli daily. Even in other situations, for example at work we often face rejection, differences in opinion, gender-related issues, or indecision, which all affect our self-confidence and how we think about other people and relationships. If we recognize these underlying factors affecting our behaviour in certain situations, we can take over control and make more mindful decisions.

Becoming the best version of yourself is part of the process

Many single people wish a change happened in these tendencies: they wish more fellows were ready to commit to a long-lasting relationship and the whole process of finding a partner was less complicated. The bad news is that is not going to happen by itself and overnight. On the other hand, the good news is that everybody, icluding you too can contribute to this by making minor alterations. The change begins with you, because:

©   It is your task to decide what kind of people you want to share your life or maybe even the rest of your life with.
©     You want to feel good in your future partner’s company and expect to enjoy the time you spend together. You are probably looking for someone with a positive aura. However, such a person has the same desires, therefore you should make sure you own the same traits and qualities.

Putting all this time and energy into yourself and creating something that lasts is a long-term investment, which always requires some time before you can enjoy its benfetits. But we are planning for the long-term, aren’t we?

I would like to thank our partners, especially Liam Day, Valeriano Donzelli, and Rund Al-Husseini, who have contributed a great deal to laying the foundations of Conscious dating in Budapest. Our group is for people who are already doing conscious dating or are ready to try a new approach in order to gain new experience and more positive results. We will give you valuable and useful information each week regarding different topics in connection with conscious dating, which you can put into practise when it comes to socializing with the other members. Please keep in mind that we are not professional relationship coaches, so all we can do is share our opinion and experience with you. You are also free to ask questions or share your opinion, so we can get to know you better not only based not only on your profile photo.

If you haven’t seen the group yet, you can check it out at the following link: www.facebook.com/groups/consciousdatinginbudapest/ In the pinned post you can find our general rules and principles along with some useful links and the (for the time being) complete list of our partner groups and pages, which also offer good opportunities if you want to socialize with new people freely and not only with the purpose of starting a romantic relationship. Some of our partner organizers also offer lectures or talks on relationships from time to time, so you can hear the same information from several points of view, and even dating events.

Meet new people in our group!

While this blog and our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/consciousdatinginbudapest  are available for everyone who wants to be more mindful and practice self-awareness, either as a single person or in an existing relationship, our group events will be available only for our members. The reason for his is because we intend to create a strong and safe community.  

We are looking forward to receiving feedback and topics ideas that you would willingly read about or discuss in the group. If you find our project useful, feel free to share this article and the group link with your single friends! We would be very happy to hear from you and welcome our new members!

Good luck on this new journey! πŸ›«

The Conscious dating in Budapest team

https://www.facebook.com/consciousdatinginbudapest

www.facebook.com/groups/consciousdatinginbudapest/

consciousdatinginbudapest@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

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